Genesis 32:22-28 (NLT) During the night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two servant wives, and his eleven sons and crossed the Jabbok River with them. 23 After taking them to the other side, he sent over all his possessions. 24 This left Jacob all alone in the camp, and a man came and wrestled with him until the dawn began to break. 25 When the man saw that he would not win the match, he touched Jacob’s hip and wrenched it out of its socket. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for the dawn is breaking!” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” 27 “What is your name?” the man asked He replied, “Jacob.” 28 “Your name will no longer be Jacob,” the man told him. “From now on you will be called Israel, because you have fought with God and with men and have won.”
God wants to bless you but not on your terms. Here’s Jacob, who loved God, but whose life is marked with the character flaw of doing things in his own strength. From scheming for his brothers blessing to manipulating his father in law to trying to broker a peace with his brother using his finely tuned diplomatic skills Jacob was a good at seeing God as his supplement and not his supply. He had many blessings but still felt half alive knowing that there were relationships and circumstance that he couldn’t reconcile in his own strength. God shows up on the scene and begins to wrestle with Jacob as if to say, “you think you’re tough huh?”. Jacob takes up the challenge. He demands, “bless me”.  God says, “whats your name?”. Jacobs name has a meaning like “schemer”. It’s as if Jacob is saying to God, “bless this scheming, heal grabbing life”…. God’s says, “Na, I think I’ll change you and bless that”.
Are we willing our way through life trying to get God to bless our way are are we trying to align our lives with God’s will, realizing that’s what’s already blessed?

Every story ends the same. The Bible says that at the end, EVERY tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. The only difference is that those that confess that now can stop the endless, exhausting, wrestling between their will and God’s and allow Him to bless their life so that they CAN make a difference.

In 1962, Atlanta mayor Ivan Allen, Jr., erected barricades on Peyton and Harlan Roads in an attempt to prevent the Peyton Forest neighborhood from being integrated. Delineating the black and white sections of the city, the barricade attracted national and international attention. Soon local black activists began picketing the barricades with signs that read “We Want No Warsaw Ghetto,” and equated the barricades with the Berlin Wall. Minor barricades, MAJOR problem.

A tiny barricade seemed insignificant but it was a touch point, a dividing line.  For Atlanta it was a little barricade that represented something much much bigger. What is it for me? A “little” lie, a “little” character flaw, a “little” compromise. From the outside it seems insignificant but the inside is where the real war rages. Unfortunately by the time most people wake up to the reality of what’s broken, the scars are deep and the path of restoration is unspeakably more difficult than it needed to be if the issue was addressed much earlier on.  I’m flawed beyond mention and in need of Gods mercy every day.

I’m in trouble when I forget just how much grace and mercy I need.

I’m in trouble when I begin to forget how frail and fallen I am.

I’m in trouble when I drift from the cross and enter in the world of self-justification and rationalization.

We all do it, in varying degrees, to avoid the reality of who we are and aren’t. But to realize our potential we have face the reality of our often painful present position and lean into Christ and appropriate the grace he offers to remove all the blockade and barricades that limit us and become all that God designed us to be.

What’s the barricade in your life that you call minor but in reality is causing, or has the power to create. MAJOR problems on your path?

Before my fingers even touch the keys tears are filling my eyes. February 24th 2006, Stephanie and I received the worst news. We were sat down by our Doctor and told, “your daughter has cancer”. I will never forget how those words hit my heart like a razor sharp arrow.  The doctor left and I immediately put my arm around Stephanie and I prayed with our four month old daughter in our arms. I’ll never forget the prayer I prayed that day. I said, “God, I don’t understand but we trust you and we need you”. This is how the greatest test of our life began. Surgery, Chemotherapy and more doctors visits than I can even remember and we’re on the other side. That journey is part of our story. It’s become a part of who we are. Not in an ugly jaded way. The Bible says that God can give us beauty for ashes…. and that’s what I want to share with you here. I learned a lot about myself, others, God and life through the journey. Things I hope I’ll never forget.
I learned that Stephanie and I are stronger than I thought. I learned that I am a deeply emotional being. I lived so many years without realizing how deeply God created me to feel. I felt such deep grief. Grief so deep it literally caused pain. You wouldn’t think it but I learned about joy as well. With every positive prognosis joy filled my soul in a way I’d never known. I learned that even warriors cry. I’ve become so much more in touch with my emotions through the journey and I’m thankful for it…. I could go on and on but for the sake of brevity I’ll stop there.
I learned about others. I learned that friendship and community in crisis is not optional its required. I can remember within hours of finding out that our little Anna had cancer, the entire pediatric Oncology unit of Syracuse University was filled with family and friends. They where there. That was the most important thing, and the thing I’ll always remember. They were just there silently supporting and loving in our toughest hour. They continued to be there through the months when the pain of it all hit again and we needed someone to cry with. Stephanie and I are so thankful for our friends.
I learned that God is more mysterious than I knew. I subconsciously thought that good things happened to good people and bad things happen to bad people… Karma really. In our youth we want to know what we know, but as I get older I realize that life has many more question marks than exclamation marks. There’s so much mystery. It’s what we do with the unanswered questions that in a large way defines our faith journey. I still don’t understand a lot about what happened with Anna, but I know God is real. Why? Well there’s lots of reasons, but here’s one that I’ll carry as long as I live: I felt his peace come upon me February 25th in the middle of the night as I held my sick little girls in my arms as I prayed . Peace isn’t a normal human response in a moment like that but that’s exactly what invaded me in the moment I needed it the most. Life is long and sometimes painful but God is faithful even when we don’t understand.
I learned that life is frightfully fragile. I realized in a moment that for all that I do to protect, preserve and prolong my life, tomorrow it isn’t promised to me. That reality challenges me to live well today. All this made me fearless towards death but focused on the reality that all men die but some never truly live… I want to truly live. I not only wanna truly live but want to lead as many other people as I can to do the same.
OH, hows Anna? She’s doing amazing. She is the most amazing, beautiful, complicated, brilliant little girl and we thank God for her and Niko every day. I was inspired to write after Anna got the all clear and healthy for Anna’s Doctor.
-If you are a Cancer survivor I would love and be honored to hear your story. Please leave me a comment.

There are many things that are technical. Math is technical. Sports are technical. Plumbing and electrical are technical(trust me). But faith ISN’T technical. I got to thinking about this after I heard someone mention their so called “technical virginity” they where so proud of. REALLY?!?! I think they might be missing the point.
When I say that faith isn’t technical what I’m saying is… well, let me put it to you this way…
Commandment I… CHECK!
Commandment II… CHECK!
Commandment IV… CHECK!
Commandment V… CHECK!
Commandment VI… CHECK!
Commandment VII… CHECK!
Commandment VIII… CHECK!
Commandment IV… CHECK!
Commandment X… CHECK!
“THEREFORE, I HAVE STROOOOONG FAITH! Furthermore I have a close walk with God and possessing and abundance of righteousness”
The truth is that a person could be doing all this and be far from God and be nothing but self-righteous. HOW, you may ask. Because they read John 14:15 wrong which actually says “If you love me, you will obey what I command.”.… It DOEN’T say if you obey my commands it means you love me. Love produces behavior that is pleasing to the object of the love. But performing certain behaviors doesn’t automatically indicate love.
If you have put all your time and energy into the techniques of Christianity you’ve not only found yourself exhausted and unfulfilled but most likely feeling far from the mark.
Our faith journey must always be a pursuit of relationship with Christ and a cultivation of passion. If we do that our lives will be DISTINCTLY different than those that are far from God.

James 1:19 …You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry…
Ok, I have to be honest here, I’m writing this as much for my own reflection as I am for everyone else’s reading. Listening hasn’t always been my strong suit. OK, FINE… you just had to push… its my weakest suit!! There are so many voices and so much noise that its easy to consciously or unconsciously shut it all down and listen to NONE of it. The problem lies in the fact that my growth potential lies not in what I say but what I listen to. There are the obvious voices that are vying for my attention, but the voices that can some times speak the loudest are the ones without a mouth.
-The excitement and joy in the eyes of a child.
-The grief in the eyes of elderly man that’s lost his wife in death.
-The feeling of the autumn wind blowing in my face.
-The feeling of seeing a soldier board a plane heading to war.
-The way someone carries themselves when they’re in unfamiliar territory
All these things can speak. They all have a voice. They all can show us something and teach us something…. if we listen.
I want to grow. I don’t want to wake up next year and be the same person I am today. I want to be better and I have to slow down and choose to see, to listen, to learn and to grow. When my daughter tells me a story with unspeakable excitement it says that joy may not be as illusive as some make it out to be. When I see grief, it speak to me that life is short and relationships are all that really matter. When I feel that autumn wind blow, it tells me that the most valuable things are often free. When I see a solider leave for war, it tells me that bravery and heros are all around us and we should take more time to thank them. When I see an outsider in my inside world, it speaks to me that i have great power to make someone feel loved and welcomed…. and on and on and on.
Every day, in so many ways God is whispering to you. Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to respond wrongly…… Shhhhhhh, listen, there’s something you need to hear…. do you hear it? Are you listening? It’s right there in front of you, the chance to grow, the chance to be better… Don’t miss it.

Colossians 3:23 (KJV) And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
In 1519, Spanish Conquistador Hernando Cortez landed in Mexico on the shores of the Yucatan with 500 soldiers and 100 sailors. With these relatively small band of men he sought to take hold of the Aztec treasure they knew to be there. With only 600 men Cortez took that land and reshaped history. How did he do it with such a small group of people? the answer is found in the last line of the “motivational talk” he gave before they left the waters edge and moved inland. As he wrapped up is talk he said, “burn the ships”.  He wanted to make it abundantly clear that failure or retreat weren’t options.
I think failure happens more often than it needs to because we let failure BE an option.  Its good to have  a fallback BUT DON’T FALL BACK. If you have something in you’re heart to do… DO IT! Don’t settle…. Period.

Here are some tips how to stay on point….

1. Ask yourself why you are doing ‘it’! -Scrutinize the motive behind the motion.

2. Be able to articulate to yourself what ‘it’ is. -You have to have a clear finish line.

3. Verbalize you goals to those that will support you- You need cheers in the process not just in the final product.

4. Don’t confuse detours with dead-ends- Obstacles WILL come but they don’t have to be the end unless you let them.

5. Find joy in the pursuit - I like running races… not just finishing them.

I’m reading a great book called, FLOW IN SPORTS by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. It’s a great book and totally worth the read. The whole book centers on the phycological experience of being “in the zone”. In his book, Csikszentmihalyi talks about how we experience what he calls ‘flow’. His flow theory is both simple and profound. In a nutshell It’s this, when you’re performing below you potential it leads to boredom if you try to perform above your potential it leads to burnout. When you perform at the top end of your ability it does two things. First, it gives you that amazing sensation of flow. In running its called a runners high. Second, it serves to stretch you and redefine what is the top end of your ability. I remember the first time I ran a 10k in 49:20 in my early days of running. I felt I had done the impossible and it felt amazing(the old lady I finished with felt the same as me). It was my best time…. up to that point. As I make a habit of pushing the upper limits of my potential athletically I can consistently improve. The side effect of all this is that along the path of improvement I get to experience the best kind of high. The high of performing to my full potential and growing better and better. Now, as I can do the 10k in 40 minutes flat I still get that same high I felt when I did it in 49:20. But its not about the time, its about pushing myself to be my best every day. I get so excited when someone tells me they did their first race or set a PR. Sometimes they hesitate to tell me their times as if I’ll mock. The truth is I get so excited for them, whatever the time, because THEY DID IT! They pushed themselves and the smile on their face tells on them. They’re proud of themselves because they did their best and they feel great about it…. and so they should!

Feeling flow can be experienced in every arena as you push yourself to be the best you can in every area of life you’re blessed to posses.

I wanna be a better husband, father, pastor, friend, athlete, student and friend. What do you wanna be better at? it DOESN’T just happen. You have to push yourself.  Push yourself today! Feel the rush of blood. Feel the sweat build as you perform at your very best. A boring life…. well… is boring. Don’t except the status quo or yesterdays acomplishments. achieve something great TODAY!