WHY do you want me to boycott your blog?! Well I’m glad you asked. I’ve taken the time to review some of my previous blogs and it was to my horror and dismay. Seems I’m 2 parts dyslexic, 1 part crazy, and 4 parts how-did-this-guy-get-past-sixth-grade-English. It was brought to my attention by my editor that I seem to have a minimal grasp of the English language. Furthermore, it was stated that I should be quarantined as to not pollute the general population with my ineptness. (Wow, harsh)
Here are some of my editors comments:
“Mark shows a complete inability to properly use there/their/they’re also were/where/we’re and lets not forget then/than.”
“Mark’s contempt for proper punctuation is a cause of concern, not only as it relates to his writings but also it seems to be a negative indicator of his mental health as a whole.”
“Mark shows a gross flagrancy in his use of capitalization. I can only assume that he was taught that capitalization was merely a suggestion more than a hard and fast rule. Either that or he was mercilessly beat by a gang of capital letters as a child, thus making him a bit skittish in their presence.”
So while I begin a path of personal healing in this area of my life, I ask you to help in one of the following ways:
1. Every time you observe a grammatical error snicker to yourself.
2. Write a seething comment pointing out my mistake…which I will totally post.
3. Boycott my blog all together fearing that I’m making you dumb.
4. Hug an elementary school teacher.
5. Hug me. (my personal favorite)
6. Be patient and realize that you aren’t perfect either JERK….ok…ok… I’m sorry I didn’t mean that. But it’s too late I said it and there is NO way to take it back.