my first 50 mile race

Canandaigua New York October 6, 2007 “my first 50 mile race”

I can’t quite tell you when the pain started…oh wait yes I can, mile 31. Ironically that’s 1 mile longer than my longest training run. And believe me the irony wasn’t lost in the moment. “31 down 19” to go it thought…queasy, weak & feeling a little tired, 19 miles seemed like a long time. It was in that moment that I turned off my iPod and turned on my internal talk. “How you feel now is NOT how you will feel in 15 minutes,” I told myself. God I hoped that would be true. At miles 32 I saw the welcomed site of my crew of 3. I picked theses guys because they each had something to offer. Tom, A recovered drug addict who makes me realize Jesus still does miracles. Ryan, a future missionary who would pace me the last 15 miles & Dr. Jeremy an ER doctor & life long friend. Dr. Jeremy said DRINK, smart since I’d been peeing blood since mile 15(renal failure is a real pisser…or should I say ISN’T a pisser). At any rate I drank & ate some watermelon, a gel & soaked my hate in the cooler filled with ice water in the back of my Honda element & went on my way not fully admitting to my crew just how crappy I felt. I walked up part of a grueling hill (one of many comprising the seemingly unnecessary 3400 feet of elevation gain) & then puked of the aforementioned water, watermelon & gel. I felt strangely refreshed. I pressed on through the wall & started feeling better. I would go through this cycle several times.
I should mention at this point that this was my first ultra but won’t be my last. Not because I loved the scenery or the open road or because I felt so alive (Because I only felt that at the start/finish line). I will do it again because I found out some things about my friends & myself. I found out that pain is intensified in solitude. I found out that I COULD do what others said I couldn’t . I discovered that I’m stronger than I thought I was. Not only in my legs but also in my mind. Life isn’t a solo run even if there are times when you can’t see your crew & the only feet you hear are your own. If I hang on there is an aid station & friends just down the road. We need each other & the goal shouldn’t be to find out what we can do all by ourselves but what we can do together. When someone says I’m running a marathon people say things like “that’s great” & “you inspire me”. When I tell people I’m running 50 miles, people just say “WHY”, & you know what, I cant quite answer them…that’s the question, that’s the riddle. Ultras for me have become a riddle & a riddle I couldn’t solve it in just one run. One ultra only got me curious, curious to answer the question “WHY”. So I hope to see you at the start line. Next time lets make it a 100. I really want the belt buckle

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